apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
