scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
