Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
