He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
