these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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