if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
