When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
