Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
