I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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