Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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