matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the day after is always just damage control
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
