I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
