But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
