that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
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