Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
