Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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