you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
