I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
