the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
