Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
My liver just had a heart attack.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
