Dude my mom stole all your condoms
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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