The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
