is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
