I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
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