FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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