halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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