she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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