help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
