He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Did I show you my penis last night?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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