end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
