have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
