dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
