their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
it was like having sex with a tree stump
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
