it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
