forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
