I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
sex in a hospital.. check
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
