what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
