I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
