Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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