Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
