It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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