he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Someone came in the potted fern
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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