she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
