Small penises have feelings too.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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