Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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