My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
