And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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