Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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