I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
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