Well douche your snatch and let's go!
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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