3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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