Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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