if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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