I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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