so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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