Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
