I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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