I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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