i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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