Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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