i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
