is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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