I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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