super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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