Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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