his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
