i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
