The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
