Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
