"it" just moved
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
