Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I want you more than these girls want KFC
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
