do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
