Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
