my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
