Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize