"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize