This dress was meant to end up on your floor
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
