you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize