It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
